Shri Mohan Bhagwat ji,
I believe you are hiring. The post of BJP’s President has fallen vacant since Shri Rajnath Singh has chosen to devote his energies to the government. I am, I assure you, an absolute party man, with no interest in the more temporal pursuits of governing. Please find herewith my resume for your perusal. I am certain that you will find in me the talent, skills, motivation and qualifications needed to run the largest party in the country today. As you can see from my track record, I will never disappoint you.
9th July 2014 Morning
I. PREVIOUS EMPLOYMENT EXPERIENCE:
1) Minister of State for Home, Government of Gujarat
2) In charge, UP State during the last Lok Sabha Elections
II. EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES:
1) Arrested on July 25, 2010 on charges of murder, conspiracy, kidnapping and extortion besides five other sections of Indian penal Code in connection with the killing of Sohrabuddin Sheikh in a fake encounter. Also, later for eliminating his wife Kausar Bi and associate Tulsiram Prajapati.
(Please NOTE that this was the FIRST instance in the history of independent India that a serving home minister had been arrested on such charges.)
2) Granted bail by the Gujarat High Court, three months later in September 2010, asked to leave Gujarat and stay away till the Supreme Court decided on a CBI plea that his bail be cancelled.
1) Snooping: Accused of ordering illegal surveillance on a woman in 2009, during his tenure as a home minister. But strictly for Saheb only.
2) Seeking Revenge: FIR registered for a speech in Muzaffarnagar in 2014, where urged the voters to seek “revenge” through their votes.
Should you still need convincing that I am the man for the job, here are some testimonials.
“Amit Shah was the head of the extortion racket involving politicians, police and criminals.”
The Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) to the apex court bench of Justice P. Sathasivam and Justice BS Chauhan
“He (Vanzara) is in conspiracy with Abhay Chudasama and Amit Shah stage-managed Navrangpura firing incident and threatened Patel brothers to give statement against Sohrabuddin. They used the elimination of Sohrabuddin for extortion.”
“Amit Anilchandra Shah is also prime and key conspirator and kingpin in the offence. The fact remains, Amit Shah is also enlarged on regular bail by the High Court of Gujarat.”
D.G. Vanzara’s bail plea
“ Kali dadhi and safed dadhi have given us the green signal for everything.”
DG Vanzara had told PI KM Vaghela of his DCB team. Vaghela’s statement recorded by the CBI in the Javed-Ishrat fake encounter case
Letter No. 2
Dear Shri Mohan Bhagwat ji,
I am delighted that my Resume impressed you. Thank you.
Kali dadhi, er, Amit Shah.
Afternoon of 9th July 2014.